I have the tendency to be very intense. I have always been like that. Its not uncommon for people to say to me, “lighten up”, or “don’t take things so seriously”. I used to get somewhat annoyed when people would say that, because it felt negative and that they were criticizing me.

So imagine my surprise when I realize that I am telling myself to do just that every now and then. Its not being too hard on myself or self-contempt. It’s about remembering to be kind to myself, because my “self” is the only “self” I’ve got.

I have read some great books on mindfulness and being present with my thoughts. When I am able to do that, and realize that I am being too hard on myself, I do find myself relaxing and being more comfortable in my skin.

For so long, stuttering had a powerful grip on me. I let it dictate when I would speak, how I would speak, what things I would participate in and what things I would avoid. I thought about stuttering a lot, and usually negatively. This mindset had such power.

I have learned that this power can be channeled into something positive. Now that I don’t beat myself up so much, and have allowed stuttering to be just a small part of my being, my mind is free to explore other things. More important things, like fully engaging with the world and being present with another person (and not secretly rehearsing what I am going to say). And experiencing joy from little things – talking with friends, laughing, getting a pedicure.

I stutter sometimes and its okay. It doesn’t detract from me as a person. As a matter of fact, it adds a unique facet to me that not too many other people have!