People who stutter often have difficulties knowing when to join in a conversation already going on. We’re not sure when to interject and we want to make sure that by doing so, we are not interrupting. And of course we worry about stuttering and going to say something and have nothing come out.

I recently read a Forbes article titled Nine Things That Make You Unlikeable. I really don’t like the title but the article does outline things you can do to make yourself more approachable and to better engage our interpersonal skills.

One of the sections was on how to be successful in conversations, whether we are initiating one or joining in on one. The key is to be sure to ask enough questions.

The biggest mistake people make in conversation is being so focused on what they are going to say next that they don’t focus on what is being said. Sound familiar? People who stutter do this a lot – we are rehearsing what we are going to say next and employing strategies so that we won’t stutter. Or at least we try to! But we miss out on what the person is actually saying because we fail to hear while we’re concentrating on ourselves.

A simple way to avoid this is to ask a lot of questions. People like to know you’re listening and something simple as a clarification question shows not only that you’re listening but that you also care about what the other person is saying.

The article states that you’ll be surprised by how much respect and appreciation you gain just by asking questions.

I think asking questions is a great way to join in and sustain a conversation. It gives the other person more time to talk and you can ease up and really listen to what they have to say. For stutterers, and anybody for that matter, asking questions will probably take less time and make for a more enjoyable conversation.

What do you think? Can you see how asking questions can help you become a better conversationalist?

You could also see the added benefit of being more “likeable.”