I get my nails done every 2 weeks. It is my one consistent treat to myself. The salon is always very busy, with lots of chatter.  Mostly in English (the clients!), sometimes in Vietnamese (the staff!). I always wonder if the staff are talking about us when they launch into their private conversations. Sure they are! 

We are clumsy American women who sometimes insist on a “do-over.”  I am guilty of that myself, plenty of times. Like when I’ve gone out to the car and put the seat belt on and smudged a nail, and came back in the shop, sheepishly asking for a “do over.”  They always oblige. Sometimes, I have to wait, but they always fix it. And its not they’re fault! It’s mine!

The nail salon is not a place where I have done any stuttering advertising. Never thought there was a need to. There is not really that much real conversation going on between staff and clients. I have had the same person do my nails for 7 years. Van knows what I like, suggests nice colors and does a great pedicure too. She is not shy about yelling at me if my fingers get too tense, and pushes and pulls at my hands as she needs to.

On this day, Van was very tired, as she had just returned from a 10 day trip to Vietnam the previous night and decided to come to work anyway, even though she was exhausted. That worked for me, as I hate having anyone else do my nails.

In case you don’t know it about me, I am a perfectionist. I like to have my nails (and everything else, for that matter) perfect. I am paying for my nails, so I deserve it.

Anyway, this post is not just about getting my nails done, as fascinating as it is.  So, we were talking about her trip as I was getting a “fresh set” (if you know nails, you know what that means – if you don’t, its not  important). Anyway, I noticed a speck of dust or lint on one of my nails, and I said something like,”this one needs to be looked at”, but it actually came out,”this, this , this one needs to be looked at.”  She said, “I heard you the first time -why do you have to repeat yourself ?” She seemed annoyed. Maybe she was just jet-lagged.

I thought to myself, “oh boy – now she thinks I ‘m being sarcastic or rude.” (It does not take much for my negative self-talk to kick in, does it?) She seemed like she was waiting for an answer. Without thinking, I said,  “Sorry,  Van, sometimes I stutter.”

She looked at me, perplexed. So then I said,  “Sometimes, I just repeat a word a couple of times. That’s what stuttering is.  I wasn’t trying to be smart with you.”

This all happened in about 30 seconds. It still seemed like Van didn’t get it, but we moved on. As we should, because it wasn’t a big deal. I was actually proud of myself for saying it like I did. I wish I hadn’t said “sorry” like there was anything to apologize for, because there wasn’t.  But hey, it’s one step at a time, right? As a stuttering friend has said, its all about baby steps.

I am not afraid to admit that I am still working on me. There is nothing to apologize for. Sometimes, I just stutter. Yep, I just stutter.

Has something like this ever happened to you?

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