Make Room For The Stuttering

Saying The Unsaid

Posted on: March 21, 2009

I have often found myself thinking about the things that were left unsaid. Said to me, said by me, said to others. What a waste when we don’t say what we want.

Sometimes it’s because of stuttering or sometimes because we feel intimidated. Both of these have happened to me.

There was not a lot of emotion verbally expressed in my household when I was growing up. None of us knew how to do it. We were shell-shocked by other things going on. But there was a lot of emotion there, right under the surface. It just was never said.

I bet a lot of people can relate to some of this.

Here is my list of things I wish had been said at some point, in no particular order.

I wish my dad had told me he was proud of me, just once when I was growing up. That would have meant so much.

I wish a teacher had told me that stuttering was no big deal, that we are all unique.

I wish that someone else would have told me that they stuttered too. It would have been great to meet someone else who stuttered, so I didn’t feel so alone.

I wish someone would have stood up for me when I was being teased about how I talked.

I wish I could have said how I felt about never having any friends over to our house.

I wish I could have said how I hated feeling different.

I wished I had said how angry I felt when I didn’t say what I really wanted because I was afraid I would stutter and people would laugh.

I wish I had told the clerk who mimicked me how much that really hurt.

I wish I had told my college professor that I was stuttering when I gave my final oral presentation. It would have made it so much easier and I wouldn’t have agonized over it the way I did then. I still think about that.

I wish I could have said how painful it was growing up in such a chaotic place.

I wish I could have told someone about the guilt I have been carrying around and how heavy it has felt.

I wish I could have talked about being ashamed of what went on in my family.

I wish my parents had told us that they loved us. I never remember it being said.

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© Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering, 2009 - 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Same protection applies to the podcasts linked to this blog, "Women Who Stutter: Our Stories" and "He Stutters: She Asks Him." Please give credit to owner/author Pamela A Mertz 2017.