Today I talked with a teacher friend, who mentioned that working with special needs kids is such a great experience because it forces you to look outward, be aware of differences and develop empathy. She then looked at me and said, “you must have a lot of empathy for others because of your stuttering experience”.

I have heard that before – not about me – but in general. From stuff I’ve read on the Internet and heard at conferences. I think it is true. Because I have the experience of getting stuck and feeling different, I do think I have more patience and concern for others. I know what it is like to have someone roll their eyes, or look away, or laugh when my words come out stuttered, or not at all. I know what its like to have someone hang up on me over the phone, or be rude in some other way.

I remember once at a former job, some other staff and I were planning a party for students who had achieved a special achievement. We did these parties fairly regularly, as an incentive. I was responsible for organizing everything and putting in the food orders. The easiest, and by far the kids’ favorite, was pizza. One staff told me she was sick of pizza and could we have something else. I very calmly told her, “It’s not about you, it’s about the kids. They love pizza, so that’s what we will have”. I saw the “Aha moment” flash across her face, and I never heard her complain again.

It just takes some simple reminding every once in a while. Its not about us, its about the other person. That is what empathy is. Knowing what its like to be left out or ignored, not wanting someone else to experience the pain you have felt. Do people who don’t stutter ever have that “Aha moment” when they get what it is like to stutter?

You need to be a special person to work with special kids and adults. You need patience, care, concern and an appreciation of the other person. Its not so different when we’re talking about communicating with each other. The same things apply. Why don’t people get that?