Make Room For The Stuttering

Chains of Shame

Posted on: February 16, 2009

This is a poem I wrote last year. I posted it on my writing site, Helium, but really haven’t shared it with anyone. It has a double meaning for me. I hope you like it.

The chains were tight for so long
Every time I struggled to loosen them
They got tighter.
I was shackled
Always dreaming how it would feel
To be free
Sometimes the chains would dig so deep
And bruise me
I would cry
Silent tears
Sometimes there were scars
But mostly scars you couldn’t see
The chains tightened
When I spoke, or didn’t
Mostly didn’t – and they choked me
It took a long time to remove the chains
Sometimes I still feel the indent
And see the faint bruises
As my skin, and me, is sensitive
Do you know what they look like?
Have you ever felt the chains?
They aren’t what you think they are
They are heavy, like a weight
I felt them, always
Cutting, digging, biting, causing
My hands and throat to clench tight
I couldn’t use my hands or throat to talk
The chains held me back, pulled me taut
Kept my mind locked
And my heart closed
And kept me from what I wanted
When they finally came off, I felt lighter
Floating, free, unleashed
These were no regular chains
They were chains of shame
And thankfully
They’re gone.
Can you tell?

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© Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering, 2009 - 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Same protection applies to the podcasts linked to this blog, "Women Who Stutter: Our Stories" and "He Stutters: She Asks Him." Please give credit to owner/author Pamela A Mertz 2017.