I’m preparing for a workshop at a NSA One Day Conference next weekend on change and wanted to reflect here for a moment on how profound change can be for others in our lives when we change.

I’m experiencing that first hand with family. I’ve shared before that I was raised in an abusive, chaotic household as the oldest child of six. We experienced change and drama almost every day. 

Now, later in life, I have finally learned to set boundaries I am comfortable with and it means that I intentionally choose not to spend time with family members who are stuck in old habits and get mad over silly things and point fingers and like to play the blame game.

I don’t have time for that anymore in my life. I’ve changed, simply by realizing that I can freely choose who I want to surround myself and spend time with. It’s so much healthier than lying and making excuses why I don’t want to go to this family gathering or that. My siblings try to get together once a year, and it feels forced, awkward and uncomfortable. So, I’ve declined the last two, and I am really happy with myself for doing that. 

I’ve changed and therefore so has things around me, for the better. We can’t choose the family we were born into, but we can choose the family we wish to spend time with.