I didn’t intend to write today, because I already have a post written for tomorrow and several good drafts started. But this, I couldn’t resist.

Good friend and mentor J and I talked about stuttering last night, and he asked me a really surprising question. Well, two actually. What would happen if you paid attention to the aesthetic beauty of stuttering? What if you could learn to enjoy the sound and beat of your own stuttering?

Huh? Now you realize that it is only with really special people that you can have this kind of conversation. J does not stutter, but he has been around me long enough that it is perfectly OK for him to offer this kind of feedback. In fact, it’s almost like he has a standing invitation.

He said my stuttering has a “cadence” to it – like a percussion drum. When he saw the look on my face, he said, “Really. I have been closing my eyes and listening closely to some of your stutters and you have a distinctive beat. Almost every time you say certain words, you stutter exactly three times and then the word breaks free. Like this,  cah-cah-cah-communication, cah-cah-cah-college.” He then started drumming on his knee to a beat and was stuttering like me. This doesn’t happen every day.

This was very intriguing. He challenged me to listen to my stuttering and try to replicate it exactly, so that I could feel the beat. At first, it was hard to do. But I was game and tried it, much to his delight, and mine. I found he was right. When I say “stutter”, like as if on cue, it comes out, “stu-stu-stu-stutter.”  Same with “people”, it comes out “pa-pa-pa-people”.

J challenged me to experiment with my stuttering and try to replicate natural stutters and see if I can pick up the beat. He then launched into music, how my stuttering almost could be like a rap song. He said he has noticed that some singers do seem to put some pseudo-stuttering into a song for emphasis or maybe just the beat.

We then talked about stuttering having beauty. I reminded him that someone had told me my stuttering was attractive not too long ago, and he just smiled and said “yeah, I remember!”

So while I am practicing my “stuttering beat”, and smiling broadly as I write this, what do you think? Isn’t it awesome that two people who care about each other can have this kind of special conversation? Can you dare to think of your stuttering like this? If by chance you are a SLP reading this, can you see any value having this discussion with someone who stutters?

I have thought about this all morning, and had to put it on paper. Maybe J and I will write a song about it and put it to music, featuring a percussion drum, of course!

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