Make Room For The Stuttering

About Me

Make Room For The Stuttering was created by me, Pamela A Mertz (initials: pam) after realizing that I have a story to tell. I was a covert stutterer for many years, and was afraid to stutter publicly.

Life circumstances and maturity have helped me realize that I wasted a lot of time, and that I much prefer the authentic me. My defining moment was  getting fired from a job that I loved and had held for more than 20 years, because I had stuttered publicly. In that instant, I decided I could not live in hiding anymore and out of the closet I came. They say that difficult experiences can break you or transform you. I have been transformed. I have also discovered that I love to write and do it rather well.

I am telling stories of me in these blog posts. I am growing and evolving as a person, and really like what has been happening to me.  Stuttering has value, and its important for me to share this with the world. Someone told me that stuttering has no positive socially redeeming value. Well, I am here to tell you that is ABSOLUTELY not true.

Since opening up about my stuttering, my world has opened up, profoundly and deeply. I feel it is my responsibility to share my journey with others whose lives have been touched by stuttering.

I have made room in my life for stuttering and I have a relationship with it. Let’s share these experiences

29 Responses to "About Me"

I identify with you so much. You are so brave to find the courage to stutter publicy I am still trying to will myself to do that and I know that is the breakthrough I want, I have been praying for and need so badly.

I have been bypassed for employment becasue of my stuttering and is also afraid to work because I hate doing things that I cannot put my whole self into.

You are an inspiration to me and I look forward to continue interacting with you.

Annetta,

Thanks for responding and sharing. It takes courage to do that on an internet blog. It is a journey, isn’t it? And it is all about baby steps.

It took me so long to realize that it is really ok to stutter, and that it is really just a different way of talking. It might really be helpful for you to talk with other people who stutter, either through a self help group or even on-line.

Finding other people and realizing I wasn’t alone made such a difference for me. And guess what, I still have moments when I am self-conscious or embarassed. It makes me, you, me, us human.

I hope you do keep in touch here. Please leave comments and share your journey. It really does help!

Pam

Stuttering is really a journey with so much ups and downs. This minute you feel you can deal with it, you can feel okay stuttering publicly and the next minute you crawl back into your hiding place and refuse to talk.

I feel better now interacting with you and will be searching for others as well.

I am determine not to let stuttering continue to cripple my life and I know I will have to do the hard work in this regard.

I read you article in the Sunday T-U. I grew with a friend who stuttered. For reasons I do not understand we never, ever made fun of him. He was part of our gang so I guess we just accepted it and him. He just grew out of suttering around age 13 or so. I also had a aunt who was 10 years older than me. She dressed me up as you described with your younger brother. She went further – the dresses were almost always her fancy cast offs and she exposed me to other people. Later I asked her why. She described it as a power trip. I think teasing, to a large degree is related – it gives one real or perceived pwoer over another human being.

Dear Pam
You seem to be a part of my vast biological family- (because to me stuttering was and is something biological- very real; and this connects me with PWS all over, in a very special sense)..
I can understand your battles, setbacks, victory and now freedom as you talk about your very private thoughts and feelings..
Carry on writing, sharing, and enriching our lives..
God speed to you..
sachin

[...] days ago, I read a wonderful blog post titled “Overcoming Stuttering” by my friend, Pam Mertz (@stutterrockstar). It’s a good analysis on how kids and teens could be programmed by the [...]

Hi Pam,

via Stuttering Jack´s post at Tom´s blog I found my way to your blog. Great to see so many active stutterers sharing their experiences and encourage others to take their fate into their hands. Reading your introduction I wondered whether you got a new job after you got expulsed from that previous one? You can answer via email if you do not want to put that topic on your blog. Curious, Blanka

Hello Pam, I’m Somu(Somnath Bhattacharya) from pune, India. I’ld like to share my own experiences on stuttering. As anneta candidly accepted, stuttering comes and go. It is this problem which makes it unique from any other impediment. I’m fighting and I know I will overcome this. I just need your help in this regard. God bless you and all others who suffer from this. We are all one.We willwin.

[...] October, 25 2009 I received a caring and warm advice from my friend, Pam (@stutterrockstar) and my Dad  also says the same thing viz., to stay positive and focus on what I [...]

[...] I had a moment for that sorta introspection on my thought process after a chat with my friend, Pam (@stutterrockstar). The session was little over an hour. During that time, I had a mock interview, [...]

Dear Pamela,

I am very happy to hear about the transformation you have brought in your life. I am also a covert stutterer and am currently suffering from psellismophobia. However, i am trying my best to recover from this and try to talk.

I have been trying for a very long time to get in touch with the covert stutterers around the world so that we can share things. However, i can not find any way. Could you please help me out.

Thanks
Psellismophobiac

Hi there,
Thanks for reading and commenting on this blog. There are a lot of covert stutterers. I suggest you visit yahoo.com and ask to join the group Covert-S.
This is a large, active email group of people who are covert and everybody is helpful, supportive and kind.
You will need to request to join the group, and your request has to be approved by the moderator, Cathy.
I post on that group periodically, and we would welcome you there. You can also listen to some of th podcasts here that I do with women who stutter and listen to some of the covert stories.

Not sure if male stutterers are allowed space here….but since
a typo led me to this site….and since I have been a stutterer all my Life ( now 62 ) , I thought I’d add my 2 cents.
In adolescence I ditched school so I would not have to talk….it was that bad.
Still, I became a self made millionaire and retired at 50. The key was, Believe in Yourself !!! Never let another person ” dismiss ” you simply because you cannot say something as quickly as they. This happened to me quite frequently in my teens and early 20′s. It still does on occasion by people who need to use another’s vulnerabity to their own advantage.
I used my hands , rather than my mouth…to become successful….and of course was quickly accepted after that .
Life is strange that way.
Now I always, always, always go out of my way to help the ” underdog “. It doesn’t win me many friends, but …..it’s my way of giving back.

Good luck to all those with disfluency…..Never give up….and most of all…learn to laugh at it all.

michael

Of course male stutterers are allowed space here – the blog is about stuttering issues that relate to us all. The podcast is specifically to give space to women who stutter to share their story, as the minority within a minority, women as rarely asked to talk about our stuttering.
Please feel free to comment and share your experiences here, if they relate and if you wish. Other people’s experiences almost always help someone else.
How did you become a self-made millionaire? You can feel free to help us underdogs here, in any way you wish! Thanks for stumbling on here, even if only by mistake. ~Pam

Hi Pam.
I’m new to this blog.
I just wanted to thank you for creating such a useful and supportive resource for PWS.
I’m in the middle of a very rocky speaking patch, and have been for a while, and your website is helping to encourage and inspire me through it, for which I am very grateful. It is very generous of you to give the gift of support to PWS.
I look forward to reading and listening to many more blog entries and podcasts.
Yours thankfully,
Amy

Pam,
I wanted to thank you for giving my daughter Aileen the opportunity to share her story. Though we are close, as a mother of a teenager you do not always get to hear exactly what is going on in their minds. My husband and I have always been very proud of our daughter and hearing her speak and share her feelings so openly was very moving and inspirational. I believe she will touch many lives and go on to do great things. Your website is a wonderful platform for open communication about a topic so many have a hard time discussing. Thank you for giving that opportunity. All the best.

thanks for the inspiration…. Im still trying to overcome this challenge in my life..wish me good luck..

Where I now live I think I have come across only 2 women who stutter. How I wish I could have told this elderly lady that I too stuttered and maybe she would have liked to have had a chat. New to your website and what I have seen so far is just so interesting and I’m really glad I happened to find it.

Hi Helen, I too am glad you have found this site and encourage you to hang around and discover more of the wonderful courageous women who have voices that need to be heard. Yes, wasn’t Beata just amazing? It is so important for women to hear each other, realize we are not alone and that sharing our journey really can help others. Where are you from? I bet you have a story too, just busting to come out!
Thank you for taking time to leave a comment!

Can I just say what a relief to find someone who actually knows what theyre talking about on the internet. You definitely know how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More people need to read this and understand this side of the story. I cant believe youre not more popular because you definitely have the gift.

Just wanted to give you a shout from the valley of the sun, great information. Much appreciated.

dear i am also facing stuturing .i am in saudi arabia basicly form paksitatn.pls infrom me about self helf group or a speach theropest in saudid arabia,thanx
javedpsh@gmail.com

Not sure if male stutterers are allowed space here….but since
a typo led me to this site….and since I have been a stutterer all my Life ( now 62 ) , I thought I’d add my 2 cents.
In adolescence I ditched school so I would not have to talk….it was that bad.
Still, I became a self made millionaire and retired at 50. The key was, Believe in Yourself !!! Never let another person ” dismiss ” you simply because you cannot say something as quickly as they. This happened to me quite frequently in my teens and early 20′s. It still does on occasion by people who need to use another’s vulnerabity to their own advantage.
I used my hands , rather than my mouth…to become successful….and of course was quickly accepted after that .
Life is strange that way.
Now I always, always, always go out of my way to help the ” underdog “. It doesn’t win me many friends, but …..it’s my way of giving back.

+1

Of course male stutterers are allowed space here – this is for anyone who stutters or knows someone who stutters. The blog (written portion) refers to all things stuttering and for all of us. The podcast that I do, for women to tell their stories, is also open to all to listen to as well. It just happens to feature women, but we ALL can relate to the issues discussed, as stuttering, in all its forms, is universally felt.
Part of the reason I created this space was to help people feel less alone, so we don’t get “dismissed”, as you said.
Would love to hear how you became a self-made millionaire. In what industry?
~Pam

Hi Pam,

Congratulations on a wonderful website!

I visit often. Although stuttering is not nearly the huge issue it used to be for me, I still look for solutions to this puzzle. I have learned so much over the years thanks to the Internet and thanks to websites like yours!

Cheers!

Jai

Pam, I just found this when I was looking for information about stuttering. I am needing help! Recently I have noticed my son becomes breathy when talking, typically in front of someone like a teacher etc…or when its seems he is very excited about a topic and cant wait to share his knowledge. At home it happens rearly but I have noticed out side the home and his teacher is concerned he is stuttering. After some looking online I can’t seemed to find his particualr symptoms related to stuttering. But I really just don’t know. Do you know?? Can you shed some light on this?
Thanks so much Heather

Hi Heather – well, I am not a SLP or professional in the field, but I have heard of people who stutter creating a breathiness in order to avoid stuttering, so it’s possible that’s what he’s doing.
Sometimes, prolonging a breath or sound gives a person who stutters a “run-up” to the sound they anticipate they might stutter on.
If the teacher thinks your son may be stuttering and trying to cover it up, it might be worth having him evaluated by a speech and language pathologist who has some experience with stuttering.
Creating ways to avoid stuttering is known as covert stuttering – where a stutterer will do everything possible to not stutter. It can include that prolonged breathiness, adding extra sounds, feigning sickness or a “lump in the throat” to all out silence.
The most famous case of someone who stutters who developed that breathiness was Marilyn Monroe – she crafted that breathy way to talk so she scould avoid stuttering.
If you are in doubt, please have your son see a good SLP. You’ll feel better.
Hope this helps.
Pam

Great & Inspired Story we all gonna learn from that to be more confident and string to defeat this stuttering fro our lives .

my warm regards from KSA

Shadi Nour
ysfnour@gmail.com

Good morning! I just found this website and want to share my story as well. As a kid I couldn’t speak without stuttering. I am now 56 and speak well most of the time. Stress and certain sounds are still issues and always will be. I’ve had a successful career and no one ever mentioned the stuttering. Most recently I worked in a position very successfully as an event manager for 12 years. When the economy crashed I was transferred to a different department. Two years ago I was fired from that position for retaliation. My boss addressed my stuttering (for the first time) in my annual review. She actually said “have you seen the Kings Speech? He fixed it.”. I had to improve before the next review. I complained to her boss about discrimination and was fired. Has anyone had a similar experience with employers?

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© Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering, 2009 - 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Same protection applies to the podcasts linked to this blog, "Women Who Stutter: Our Stories" and "He Stutters: She Asks Him." Please give credit to owner/author Pamela A Mertz 2014.
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