About Me
Make Room For The Stuttering was created by me, Pamela A Mertz (initials: pam) after realizing that I have a story to tell. I was a covert stutterer for many years, and was afraid to stutter publicly.
Life circumstances and maturity have helped me realize that I wasted a lot of time, and that I much prefer the authentic me. My defining moment was getting fired from a job that I loved and had held for more than 20 years, because I had stuttered publicly. In that instant, I decided I could not live in hiding anymore and out of the closet I came. They say that difficult experiences can break you or transform you. I have been transformed. I have also discovered that I love to write and do it rather well.
I am telling stories of me in these blog posts. I am growing and evolving as a person, and really like what has been happening to me. Stuttering has value, and its important for me to share this with the world. Someone told me that stuttering has no positive socially redeeming value. Well, I am here to tell you that is ABSOLUTELY not true.
Since opening up about my stuttering, my world has opened up, profoundly and deeply. I feel it is my responsibility to share my journey with others whose lives have been touched by stuttering.
I have made room in my life for stuttering and I have a relationship with it. Let’s share these experiences
41 Responses to "About Me"
June 4, 2009 at 10:48 PM
Stuttering is really a journey with so much ups and downs. This minute you feel you can deal with it, you can feel okay stuttering publicly and the next minute you crawl back into your hiding place and refuse to talk.
I feel better now interacting with you and will be searching for others as well.
I am determine not to let stuttering continue to cripple my life and I know I will have to do the hard work in this regard.
July 27, 2009 at 6:50 AM
I read you article in the Sunday T-U. I grew with a friend who stuttered. For reasons I do not understand we never, ever made fun of him. He was part of our gang so I guess we just accepted it and him. He just grew out of suttering around age 13 or so. I also had a aunt who was 10 years older than me. She dressed me up as you described with your younger brother. She went further – the dresses were almost always her fancy cast offs and she exposed me to other people. Later I asked her why. She described it as a power trip. I think teasing, to a large degree is related – it gives one real or perceived pwoer over another human being.
August 17, 2009 at 12:05 PM
Dear Pam
You seem to be a part of my vast biological family- (because to me stuttering was and is something biological- very real; and this connects me with PWS all over, in a very special sense)..
I can understand your battles, setbacks, victory and now freedom as you talk about your very private thoughts and feelings..
Carry on writing, sharing, and enriching our lives..
God speed to you..
sachin
October 6, 2009 at 2:18 PM
[…] days ago, I read a wonderful blog post titled “Overcoming Stuttering” by my friend, Pam Mertz (@stutterrockstar). It’s a good analysis on how kids and teens could be programmed by the […]
October 17, 2009 at 11:11 AM
Hi Pam,
via Stuttering Jack´s post at Tom´s blog I found my way to your blog. Great to see so many active stutterers sharing their experiences and encourage others to take their fate into their hands. Reading your introduction I wondered whether you got a new job after you got expulsed from that previous one? You can answer via email if you do not want to put that topic on your blog. Curious, Blanka
October 27, 2009 at 10:48 PM
Hello Pam, I’m Somu(Somnath Bhattacharya) from pune, India. I’ld like to share my own experiences on stuttering. As anneta candidly accepted, stuttering comes and go. It is this problem which makes it unique from any other impediment. I’m fighting and I know I will overcome this. I just need your help in this regard. God bless you and all others who suffer from this. We are all one.We willwin.
October 29, 2009 at 3:27 PM
[…] October, 25 2009 I received a caring and warm advice from my friend, Pam (@stutterrockstar) and my Dad also says the same thing viz., to stay positive and focus on what I […]
November 2, 2009 at 6:38 PM
[…] I had a moment for that sorta introspection on my thought process after a chat with my friend, Pam (@stutterrockstar). The session was little over an hour. During that time, I had a mock interview, […]
July 19, 2010 at 8:09 AM
Dear Pamela,
I am very happy to hear about the transformation you have brought in your life. I am also a covert stutterer and am currently suffering from psellismophobia. However, i am trying my best to recover from this and try to talk.
I have been trying for a very long time to get in touch with the covert stutterers around the world so that we can share things. However, i can not find any way. Could you please help me out.
Thanks
Psellismophobiac
July 19, 2010 at 9:02 AM
Hi there,
Thanks for reading and commenting on this blog. There are a lot of covert stutterers. I suggest you visit yahoo.com and ask to join the group Covert-S.
This is a large, active email group of people who are covert and everybody is helpful, supportive and kind.
You will need to request to join the group, and your request has to be approved by the moderator, Cathy.
I post on that group periodically, and we would welcome you there. You can also listen to some of th podcasts here that I do with women who stutter and listen to some of the covert stories.
April 10, 2011 at 6:42 AM
Not sure if male stutterers are allowed space here….but since
a typo led me to this site….and since I have been a stutterer all my Life ( now 62 ) , I thought I’d add my 2 cents.
In adolescence I ditched school so I would not have to talk….it was that bad.
Still, I became a self made millionaire and retired at 50. The key was, Believe in Yourself !!! Never let another person ” dismiss ” you simply because you cannot say something as quickly as they. This happened to me quite frequently in my teens and early 20’s. It still does on occasion by people who need to use another’s vulnerabity to their own advantage.
I used my hands , rather than my mouth…to become successful….and of course was quickly accepted after that .
Life is strange that way.
Now I always, always, always go out of my way to help the ” underdog “. It doesn’t win me many friends, but …..it’s my way of giving back.
Good luck to all those with disfluency…..Never give up….and most of all…learn to laugh at it all.
michael
April 10, 2011 at 2:45 PM
Of course male stutterers are allowed space here – the blog is about stuttering issues that relate to us all. The podcast is specifically to give space to women who stutter to share their story, as the minority within a minority, women as rarely asked to talk about our stuttering.
Please feel free to comment and share your experiences here, if they relate and if you wish. Other people’s experiences almost always help someone else.
How did you become a self-made millionaire? You can feel free to help us underdogs here, in any way you wish! Thanks for stumbling on here, even if only by mistake. ~Pam
December 9, 2013 at 7:06 AM
Hi Pam.
I’m new to this blog.
I just wanted to thank you for creating such a useful and supportive resource for PWS.
I’m in the middle of a very rocky speaking patch, and have been for a while, and your website is helping to encourage and inspire me through it, for which I am very grateful. It is very generous of you to give the gift of support to PWS.
I look forward to reading and listening to many more blog entries and podcasts.
Yours thankfully,
Amy
October 4, 2010 at 8:49 AM
Pam,
I wanted to thank you for giving my daughter Aileen the opportunity to share her story. Though we are close, as a mother of a teenager you do not always get to hear exactly what is going on in their minds. My husband and I have always been very proud of our daughter and hearing her speak and share her feelings so openly was very moving and inspirational. I believe she will touch many lives and go on to do great things. Your website is a wonderful platform for open communication about a topic so many have a hard time discussing. Thank you for giving that opportunity. All the best.
December 17, 2010 at 1:48 AM
thanks for the inspiration…. Im still trying to overcome this challenge in my life..wish me good luck..
January 13, 2011 at 10:19 PM
Where I now live I think I have come across only 2 women who stutter. How I wish I could have told this elderly lady that I too stuttered and maybe she would have liked to have had a chat. New to your website and what I have seen so far is just so interesting and I’m really glad I happened to find it.
January 13, 2011 at 11:11 PM
Hi Helen, I too am glad you have found this site and encourage you to hang around and discover more of the wonderful courageous women who have voices that need to be heard. Yes, wasn’t Beata just amazing? It is so important for women to hear each other, realize we are not alone and that sharing our journey really can help others. Where are you from? I bet you have a story too, just busting to come out!
Thank you for taking time to leave a comment!
March 8, 2011 at 12:16 PM
Can I just say what a relief to find someone who actually knows what theyre talking about on the internet. You definitely know how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More people need to read this and understand this side of the story. I cant believe youre not more popular because you definitely have the gift.
April 18, 2011 at 1:27 PM
Just wanted to give you a shout from the valley of the sun, great information. Much appreciated.
August 31, 2011 at 1:51 AM
dear i am also facing stuturing .i am in saudi arabia basicly form paksitatn.pls infrom me about self helf group or a speach theropest in saudid arabia,thanx
javedpsh@gmail.com
November 5, 2011 at 1:53 AM
Not sure if male stutterers are allowed space here….but since
a typo led me to this site….and since I have been a stutterer all my Life ( now 62 ) , I thought I’d add my 2 cents.
In adolescence I ditched school so I would not have to talk….it was that bad.
Still, I became a self made millionaire and retired at 50. The key was, Believe in Yourself !!! Never let another person ” dismiss ” you simply because you cannot say something as quickly as they. This happened to me quite frequently in my teens and early 20′s. It still does on occasion by people who need to use another’s vulnerabity to their own advantage.
I used my hands , rather than my mouth…to become successful….and of course was quickly accepted after that .
Life is strange that way.
Now I always, always, always go out of my way to help the ” underdog “. It doesn’t win me many friends, but …..it’s my way of giving back.
+1
November 5, 2011 at 11:49 AM
Of course male stutterers are allowed space here – this is for anyone who stutters or knows someone who stutters. The blog (written portion) refers to all things stuttering and for all of us. The podcast that I do, for women to tell their stories, is also open to all to listen to as well. It just happens to feature women, but we ALL can relate to the issues discussed, as stuttering, in all its forms, is universally felt.
Part of the reason I created this space was to help people feel less alone, so we don’t get “dismissed”, as you said.
Would love to hear how you became a self-made millionaire. In what industry?
~Pam
February 17, 2012 at 7:05 PM
Hi Pam,
Congratulations on a wonderful website!
I visit often. Although stuttering is not nearly the huge issue it used to be for me, I still look for solutions to this puzzle. I have learned so much over the years thanks to the Internet and thanks to websites like yours!
Cheers!
Jai
October 17, 2013 at 10:29 AM
Pam, I just found this when I was looking for information about stuttering. I am needing help! Recently I have noticed my son becomes breathy when talking, typically in front of someone like a teacher etc…or when its seems he is very excited about a topic and cant wait to share his knowledge. At home it happens rearly but I have noticed out side the home and his teacher is concerned he is stuttering. After some looking online I can’t seemed to find his particualr symptoms related to stuttering. But I really just don’t know. Do you know?? Can you shed some light on this?
Thanks so much Heather
October 17, 2013 at 11:08 AM
Hi Heather – well, I am not a SLP or professional in the field, but I have heard of people who stutter creating a breathiness in order to avoid stuttering, so it’s possible that’s what he’s doing.
Sometimes, prolonging a breath or sound gives a person who stutters a “run-up” to the sound they anticipate they might stutter on.
If the teacher thinks your son may be stuttering and trying to cover it up, it might be worth having him evaluated by a speech and language pathologist who has some experience with stuttering.
Creating ways to avoid stuttering is known as covert stuttering – where a stutterer will do everything possible to not stutter. It can include that prolonged breathiness, adding extra sounds, feigning sickness or a “lump in the throat” to all out silence.
The most famous case of someone who stutters who developed that breathiness was Marilyn Monroe – she crafted that breathy way to talk so she scould avoid stuttering.
If you are in doubt, please have your son see a good SLP. You’ll feel better.
Hope this helps.
Pam
March 7, 2014 at 11:08 PM
Great & Inspired Story we all gonna learn from that to be more confident and string to defeat this stuttering fro our lives .
my warm regards from KSA
Shadi Nour
ysfnour@gmail.com
April 17, 2014 at 8:40 AM
Good morning! I just found this website and want to share my story as well. As a kid I couldn’t speak without stuttering. I am now 56 and speak well most of the time. Stress and certain sounds are still issues and always will be. I’ve had a successful career and no one ever mentioned the stuttering. Most recently I worked in a position very successfully as an event manager for 12 years. When the economy crashed I was transferred to a different department. Two years ago I was fired from that position for retaliation. My boss addressed my stuttering (for the first time) in my annual review. She actually said “have you seen the Kings Speech? He fixed it.”. I had to improve before the next review. I complained to her boss about discrimination and was fired. Has anyone had a similar experience with employers?
May 19, 2014 at 2:36 PM
Hello,
I’m a person who stammers and I have just listened to Jamila’s interview – I know her well and I am on the same programme as her in England. I wanted to know if you could give me an email on Nataliemorey_smith@outlook.com because I’d love to have a chat with you one day about it as I know stammering is quite a challenge in life as I’m sure you are aware but help is out there and I’d love to have a chat some day. Please do get in touch. Regards Natalie.
May 27, 2014 at 8:45 PM
Hello! I have followed your blog for years and just wanted to stop by again and thank you for your contribution to the community and your bravery for having the courage to “come out” as a stutterer and openly stutter, despite the stigma. I do think that it also takes courage to use fluency tricks to overcome stuttering in situations (covert), especially professional ones, where stuttering can be construed as a negative, even though it is not, or even hinder you professionally, as you said happened to you. For example, I am an elementary school teacher and I would never be hired for the profession that I LOVE if I openly stuttered. Schools simply (likely) would not want their students being taught by a person who can’t communicate as fluently as someone who does not stutter. I would be competing in interviews with teachers who can speak fluently and it’s hard to imagine a scenario where a school would hire a stuttering teacher over a fluent one. All things being equal, I mean…being equally qualified. It took bravery for me to pursue this career, do my student teaching, knowing that I would have to struggle to be fluent, but I did it, and I’ve been working with children for over 6 years now. I think it would take courage to take either path…to work to be covert…or to work to be accepted as an open stutterer. I chose my route for professional reasons…but earlier in life, for reasons of self-esteem, I’ll be honest about that. I just want to appear like everyone else, just as a person might use a prosthetic leg to look/walk like everybody else. I don’t think it’s a negative, either route you choose. Do I accept my stutter? Yes, I do. Just as a person accepts only have one leg, if that’s their reality. This doesn’t, in my opinion, mean that I have to stutter openly. I can be okay with being a stutterer while still working to speak as fluently as others who do not stutter. I hope this makes sense. Be well! ~ Tony (Stuttering Student blog – http://stutteringstudent.blogspot.com/) I think I may blog about this topic again. 🙂
May 28, 2014 at 12:45 PM
Hey Tony – thanks for the comment and great insightful feedback of your own. I respect your view that you try to be as fluent as you can. I can certainly understand it in the teaching profession.
I first started out wanting to be a teacher, but you, felt no one would want a stuttering teacher and it might be a distraction in the classroom. Of course, that was almost 30 years ago and things have changed. I think anyone with a difference is welcomed into teaching – we set a good example of tolerance and respect.
I work in education with 11th and 12th graders and speak regularly to small and large groups. Even though I don’t have formal teaching credentials, in a way, I feel I have turned out to be a teacher after all.
Congratulations on your success with working with children. Keep up the great work.
Pam
August 5, 2014 at 11:06 PM
Hi Pam, I wasn’t sure where to find your email on this website so I am enclosing a standard message I’ve put together. Thank you so much for having this blog available.
—
My name is Dylan Madeley. I happened upon your site because I am on the verge of self-publishing a fantasy novel, and I am a pretty much lifelong stutterer who runs a videoblog and finds another voice for himself through the written word. I am looking for any solidarity, press or support I can get for a campaign which I will launch in September.
I have a preview version of my campaign on Prefundia. It includes a video introducing who I am and where I come from, as best as possible within two and a half minutes.
http://prefundia.com/projects/view/the-gift-knights-quest/2297/
I also have a link to my YouTube channel, where I attempt to document the minutiae of this campaign process, my thoughts and feelings, and some things I have learned from working on campaigns before.
https://www.youtube.com/user/dylerpillar
Thank you for taking the time to read my message.
January 9, 2015 at 7:37 AM
Dear Pamela,
I’m a 20 year old stuttering girl. I just read your article ‘wounded inner child’. Thank you so much for writing it! I realized I shouldn’t be so hard on myself and just accept myself for who I am.
Have a wonderful day!
Warm regards from the Netherlands
January 9, 2015 at 8:40 AM
Chrissie,
Thanks for so much for writing and sharing that you too are sometimes hard on yourself. It’s easy to be hard on our self – especially as women. I hope you will be a frequent visitor to the blog.
Also, check out my podcasts and listen to women who stutter talk about stuttering and tell their stories.
You too have a wonderful day.
Pam
February 23, 2015 at 2:42 PM
I am considering joining Toastmasters, something I’ve been advised to do for years, but am now getting nervous because I’m finally going to do it. So..I’m here researching what to expect from Toastmasters and I came across your blog. I have been a closeted stutterer most of my life and the fear of being exposed as a stutterer is often greater than the actual emotional pain of stuttering. Your blog is very inspiring to me and I hope that one day I can reach your level of acceptance. I think you make great points about how choosing not to hide your stutter can open up a new world for you. For some reason, when I was approaching middle school, it didn’t bother me to tell people that I stuttered when they’d ask (usually with a grin or impending giggle on their face) “why do you talk like that?” It was nothing, back then, for me to respond by saying “well, because I stutter!”..a year later, my stutter went away for some reason. I remember volunteering to read aloud, always thinking that my stutter might present itself–but I didn’t care, I spoke freely. I joined the Spelling Bee, I could show my classmates and teacher just how articulate I really am; I was confident, for real, for once. Then, for whatever reason, my stutter and all of its insecurities came back the next year. I began stuttering when I was 9 and throughout the course of my life, thus far, my speech impediment has gone away 3-4 times in my life. I have finally reached a point, now that I’m pushing 40, that I am not trying to ‘make it go away’–I am merely trying to be the best person I can be. I am finally ready to eliminate my fear and conquer what I have allowed to hold me back in so many ways throughout my life. I will not allow this to control me, instill fear in me or take hold of me any longer. I’ve “dumbed it down” and relaxed myself in slang because it proved to be an easy out for me. I could navigate that, and all the persona that comes with it much easier than I could master working on speech techniques and trying to overcome the only thing I needed to overcome–my fear of being laughed at. My fear of being pointed at. My fear of being rejected for something that is a part of me.
Your blog gave me the validation I needed to go ahead and join a Toastmasters chapter and work toward becoming that articulate person once more. Thank you!
February 24, 2015 at 11:02 AM
i just saw this inspiring TEDx talk by Juan Lopez. Brought tears to my eyes, made me feel hopeful for all stutterers out there and made me immediately think of this blog. Check it out and pass it on! http://youtu.be/8J5RUvs2rZA
March 23, 2015 at 8:10 PM
Hi Pam! I’m planning on interviewing a lady that stutters on camera, but what could be interesting is to allow you to conduct the interview as we film, and we provide the finished video of your interview for your blog. She and I have talked about it, will be her first interaction with a woman who stutters as well. Please send me an email and we can chat about it. Thanks!
December 19, 2016 at 5:52 PM
Hi Pam,
I am contacting you on behalf of Chicago Speech Therapy.
We are a pediatric speech clinic in Chicago founded by Karen George, MS, CCC-SLP.
Our staff and Karen are advocates for the field and are big fans of your website! We appreciate the resources you provide. When we see a leader in the field we like to reach out and promote them to our contacts and followers. We recently published a new book called Getting into the Speech Grad Program of Your Dreams and listed your site in the resource section of the book.
We would like to send you a free copy of the book. To receive this, please reply with a full mailing address and we will send you the book.
To learn more about the book, see the links below:
http://www.chicagospeechtherapy.com/free-chapter/
Feel free to call us with any questions!
Sincerely,
Rebecca Glover
Chicago Speech Therapy
Practice Associate
773-673-0100
December 20, 2016 at 9:46 AM
Hi Rebecca – I’d love to get a copy of the book. I will send you my mailing address in a separate email. Thanks so much for the feedback and including my site as a resource in your book.
January 3, 2019 at 9:38 PM
Hi Pamela,
My name is Akaiya. I am located in Indiana. I am sixteen years old, and someone who stutters. I have been reading your blog for awhile now! Actually, my speech therapist had showed your blog to me! It is cool to know someone who is actually someone who stutters and has a blog!! I am someone who is passionate about writing, and I’m hoping to start a blog myself! Pamela , you actually inspired me to start one! My blog isn’t official yet , but it’s slowly in the works! Anyway, in Indiana there is a support group, and my leaders , Christine and Anita, had said that you are familiar with interviewing peers. Since , I am a sophomore in high school, I am starting a journalism class this semester! My question for you would be how did you overcome interviewing other people? I know that you have a blog , and is apart of the NSA community. How did you become comfortable with just advocating for your self? I know that it’s a slow process, but did you mainly self advertise? For Journalisim, I am possibly will have to interview others in the future. How did you get your blog started? How long was the process? I really want to be a positive advocate for the stuttering community! In fact, helping others is one of my inspirations!
Thank you so much for your time & consideration,
Akaiya
Make Room For The Stuttering 
May 2, 2009 at 8:24 PM
I identify with you so much. You are so brave to find the courage to stutter publicy I am still trying to will myself to do that and I know that is the breakthrough I want, I have been praying for and need so badly.
I have been bypassed for employment becasue of my stuttering and is also afraid to work because I hate doing things that I cannot put my whole self into.
You are an inspiration to me and I look forward to continue interacting with you.
May 2, 2009 at 10:51 PM
Annetta,
Thanks for responding and sharing. It takes courage to do that on an internet blog. It is a journey, isn’t it? And it is all about baby steps.
It took me so long to realize that it is really ok to stutter, and that it is really just a different way of talking. It might really be helpful for you to talk with other people who stutter, either through a self help group or even on-line.
Finding other people and realizing I wasn’t alone made such a difference for me. And guess what, I still have moments when I am self-conscious or embarassed. It makes me, you, me, us human.
I hope you do keep in touch here. Please leave comments and share your journey. It really does help!
Pam