Make Room For The Stuttering

PamEpisode 139 features Heidi Reynolds, who hails from Panama City, Florida. Heidi is 23 years old and works full-time as a nanny for twin children. She is also finishing up her undergraduate degree and is waiting to hear back from grad schools to which she has applied.

Heidi aspires to be a SLP and also wants to get her doctorate degree so she can research stuttering and eventually teach.

Listen in to a meaningful conversation about guilt. Heidi shares that she often feels a lot of guilt for listeners having to listen to her stutter. She is working on balancing that guilt with acceptance. She has reached a place where she feels comfortable with “this is me.”

We also discuss speech therapy experiences, use of speech tools, the Speech Easy device and so much more.

And we finish up by discussing the National Stuttering Association and the importance of self-help and support.

The podcast safe music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.

I participated today in a great conversation about all things stuttering on the weekly Wednesday Stutter Social hangout.

We were talking about stuttering with confidence and whether practicing our speech increases confidence.

A couple of people mentioned that they intently practice speaking every day for one to two hours, to themselves. This practice helps those particular individuals feel more confident when they are speaking to others.

One guy mentioned that sometimes after practicing and feeling more confident, when he is speaking with others that he actually forgets he stutters.

I did a double take and mouthed “what?” I couldn’t wrap my brain around this.

The facilitator of the hangout asked us to reflect on “forgetting that we stutter” and think of a time where we might have experienced this.

To be honest, my first instinct was, “Nope I have never forgot that I stutter.” For years I tried to hide my stutter. I dealt with the mental gymnastics of word substitution and avoidance,which was a constant reminder of stuttering.

Now that I no longer do that (mostly) and stutter openly – more on some days than others- I am reminded every day that I stutter. Sometimes those stuttering reminders come at the most inopportune times.

But after the hangout was over and I thought about this some more, I found myself thinking that I sort of knew what the guy meant. There are times when I am very fluent and if I have a stuttering moment, it’s not really noticeable. At those times, when I’m not thinking of stuttering, I can understand how you can actually forget about stuttering.

At these times that I am not thinking about stuttering, I am also not acknowledging it. Perhaps by not acknowledging it, for a brief time, we can actually forget we stutter.

What do you think? Can you fathom ever forgetting that you actually stutter?

Interesting reference to stuttering!

I was watching an episode of “Nurse Jackie” on Showtime this week with a friend that also stutters. There was an interesting reference made to stuttering, which was comedic and meant to be funny.

A doctor character out of the blue grabbed the breast of the main nurse character. She became angry and immediately pulled away, saying something like, “are you kidding?”

The doctor explained that this was a reaction to stress that he gets, similar to Tourette’s Syndrome.

The doctor grabbed the same nurse’s breast later in the episode. She reacted the same way and the doctor responded with “I can’t help it. When I get stressed, I react like this. It’s like a physical stutter.”

Both my friend and I laughed. We weren’t at all offended by the reference to stuttering, which of course does not manifest itself in such a way.

What do you think? Would you have found it funny? Or do you think it was in poor taste?

PamEpisode 138 features Mery el Idrissi, who hails from Mehdia, Kenitra, Morocco. Mery is 17 years old and is in her last year of high school. She wants to be a doctor someday, specifically a dermatologist.

Listen in as we discuss growing up with a stammer, teasing as a youngster, friends and support, and stammering openly. Mery also discusses the challenge she has with relationships. She feels a lack of confidence when it comes to talking with boys, even though they know she stammers.

We also discuss the support and inspiration Mery gets from the Facebook group, Women Who Stammer, the only Facebook group exclusively for women who stutter.

This was a fun conversation with a lovely young lady who is a great communicator. Mery ends the conversation by sharing that we all have a voice and it must be heard.

The podcast safe music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.

PamEpisode 137 features Autumn Seigel, who hails from Wapakoneta, Ohio. Autumn is a 21 year old writer who will soon self-publish her first book, ReAwaken, which will be a young adult novella. She writes in the science fiction, paranormal genre.

Listen in as we talk about how Autumn got involved in writing and what it was like for her growing up with a stutter. Autumn also has a learning disability, which she is open about in our conversation.

We discuss Autumn’s experience last year at a two-week summer intensive stuttering camp through The University of Toledo Speech, Language and Hearing Clinic. It was the first time Autumn had met other people who stuttered like herself. She felt she gained fluency, confidence and a more positive mindset after completing the camp.

Autumn has her own blog, The Dreamer, where she describes herself as writer, artist and dreamer. Autumn also maintains an authors page on Facebook for more information on her book.

The podcast safe music used in today’s episode is credited to ccMixter.

Like most people who stutter, I often find myself feeling self-conscious and vulnerable when I stutter publicly. I do a lot of public speaking for my job, and this is my busy time of the year. I have been conducting tours and presentations to prospective students interested in applying to our school.

Sometimes, I find myself hoping that I’ll be mostly fluent in my presentations so I don’t encounter teens snickering when I stutter during my talk. That’s happened often, as my fluency has been very inconsistent and teens don’t quite know how to react when they hear an adult unexpectedly stutter.

Today, I had a big group that was touring. I make a 15 minute presentation at the start of the visit and then take questions as we walk around on the tour. Sometimes, I find myself very fluent when giving these presentations, as I have to project my voice to a big group and that really helps with my control.

I was very happy today that I had a great speech today. What does that mean, a “great speech day?” For me, it means that I felt comfortable and in control while speaking and took the stuttering in stride. I had a few moments of stuttered speech but felt so comfortable that I didn’t let it bother me. I did not feel self-conscious or embarrassed and I did not experience any physical tension or blushing.

Being able to take the stuttering in stride is what it’s all about. We need to remember that good communication is about the message we are conveying, not whether we stutter or not. We can be excellent communicators and stutter.

When I was younger, I never believed that. I thought my stuttering meant I was doomed to be a poor communicator. Well, that is so wrong. I stutter and I’m a great communicator. Take it in stride.

What about you? Can you take your stuttering in stride and just be OK with it?

 

This morning I was involved in interviewing high school students for a competitive, accelerated health and scientific research program for next school year. The teacher and I had a standard list of questions that we were asking all of the candidates.

These students are juniors in high school and most of them were quite nervous.

We asked questions geared to discover whether the students would be a good fit for a demanding, rigorous year-long program that requires a lot of reading, writing and public speaking.

One of the candidates shared that she is very shy and one of her weak areas is “talking out loud in front of people.” She went on to say that when she does, she often finds herself stuttering and stumbling and feeling embarrassed.

I mentioned to her that many people have a fear of public speaking and that practice is key. The teacher commented that I probably had a lot more to share on that. She knows I stutter.

So that opened the door for me to share with the student that I stutter, but I don’t let it stop me from public speaking. I shared with her about my involvement with Toastmasters and my years of practicing and honing my communication skills.

I could see the student visibly relax as I briefly shared with her about this.

After her interview was complete and she had left, the teacher and I talked about perhaps me coming into her class sometime and doing a presentation on stuttering, as it’s a fascinating subject that has research implications and the students spend a significant amount of time in this class on research.

We talked about genetics and the different brain studies that have been done. I was already beginning to flesh out in my mind what such a presentation to accelerated high school seniors would look like. We agreed to schedule a date for me to present in May. I’m going to try to make it during National Stuttering Awareness Week.

You never know when you might get a chance to talk about stuttering, so be ready!

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© Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering, 2009 - 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Pamela A Mertz and Make Room For The Stuttering with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Same protection applies to the podcasts linked to this blog, "Women Who Stutter: Our Stories" and "He Stutters: She Asks Him." Please give credit to owner/author Pamela A Mertz 2015.
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